Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment, indignation or anger as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as 'to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt'. The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine.
Dr. Robert Enright from the University of Wisconsin–Madison founded the International Forgiveness Institute and is considered the initiator of forgiveness studies. He developed a 20-Step Process Model of Forgiveness. Recent work has focused on what kind of person is more likely to be forgiving.
Studies show that people who forgive are happier and healthier than those who hold resentments. The first study to look at how forgiveness improves physical health discovered that when people think about forgiving an offender it leads to improved functioning in their cardiovascular and nervous systems. Another study at the University of Wisconsin found the more forgiving people were, the less they suffered from a wide range of illnesses. The less forgiving people reported a greater number of health problems.
The research of Dr. Fred Luskin of Stanford University shows that forgiveness can be learned. Dr. Frederic Luskin's work is based on seven major research projects into the effects of forgiveness, giving empirical validity to the concept that forgiveness is not only powerful, but also excellent for your health. Dr. Fred Luskin author of the book "Learning to forgive" was presented with a Champion of Forgiveness award by the Forgiveness Alliance for his groundbreaking work with forgiveness, reconciliation and peace.
In three separate studies, including one with Catholics and Protestants from Northern Ireland whose family members were murdered in the political violence, he found that people who are taught how to forgive become less angry, feel less hurt, are more optimistic, become more forgiving in a variety of situations, and become more compassionate and self-confident. His studies show a reduction in experience of stress, physical manifestations of stress, and an increase in vitality.
Lise Bourbeau, the founder of the largest personal growth school in Quebec, Canada, studied the metaphysical causes of illnesses and diseases. In her book, “Your body is telling you Love Yourself!” she says that when illness or dis-ease appears, the body is communicating to us that our way of thinking is out of harmony with what is beneficial to our being. Illness indicates the need for change in our belief system and tells us that we have reached our physical and psychological limits. She concludes that the only path to complete and permanent healing is through self-forgiveness and the forgiveness of the people in our lives.
More about Lise Bourbeau's books here
Forgiveness in different spiritual traditions
Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness. Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another, yet others make little or no distinction between human and divine forgiveness.
Judaism
If a person causes harm, but then sincerely and honestly apologizes to the wronged individual and tries to rectify the wrong, the wronged individual is religiously required to grant forgiveness:
"It is forbidden to be obdurate and not allow yourself to be appeased. On the contrary, one should be easily pacified and find it difficult to become angry. When asked by an offender for forgiveness, one should forgive with a sincere mind and a willing spirit . . . forgiveness is natural to the seed of Israel." (Mishneh Torah, Teshuvah 2:10)
Christianity
In the New Testament, Jesus speaks of the importance of Christians forgiving or showing mercy towards others. The Parable of the Prodigal Son is perhaps the best known instance of such teaching and practice of forgiveness.
In the Sermon on the Mountan, Jesus repeatedly spoke of forgiveness, “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy.” Matthew 5:7
“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you; leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24. “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25. “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.” Luke 6:27-29. “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.” Luke 6:36. “Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
Elsewhere, it is said, "Then Peter came and said to Him, 'Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy-seven times.'" Matthew 18:21-22
Jesus asked for God's forgiveness of those who crucified him. "And Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.'" Luke 23: 34
Islamism
Islam teaches that God is Al-Ghaffur "The All-Forgiving", and is the original source of all forgiveness (ghufran). Forgiveness often requires the repentance of those being forgiven. Depending on the type of wrong committed, forgiveness can come either directly from Allah, or from one's fellow man who received the wrong. In the case of divine forgiveness, the asking for divine forgiveness via repentance is important. In the case of human forgiveness, it is important to both forgive, and to be forgiven.
Buddhism
In Buddhism, forgiveness is seen as a practice to prevent harmful thoughts from causing havoc on one’s mental well-being. Buddhism recognizes that feelings of hatred and ill-will leave a lasting effect on our karma. Instead, Buddhism encourages the cultivation of thoughts that leave a wholesome effect. "In contemplating the law of karma (the law of action and reaction), we realize that it is not a matter of seeking revenge but of practicing forgiveness, for the victimizer is, truly, the most unfortunate of all. When resentments have already arisen, the Buddhist view is to calmly proceed to release them by going back to their roots. Buddhism centers on release from delusion and suffering through meditation and receiving insight into the nature of reality. Buddhism questions the reality of the passions that make forgiveness necessary as well as the reality of the objects of those passions. "If we haven’t forgiven, we keep creating an identity around our pain, and that is what is reborn. That is what suffers."
Hinduism
The concept of performing atonement from one's wrongdoing (Prayaschittha — Sanskrit: Penance), and asking for forgiveness is very much a part of the practice of Hinduism. Prayaschittha is related to the law of Karma. Karma is a sum of all that an individual has done, is currently doing and will do. The effects of those deeds and these deeds actively create present and future experiences, thus making one responsible for one's own life, and the pain in others.
Addressing Dhritarashtra, Vidura said: "There is one only defect in forgiving persons and not another; that defect is that people take a forgiving person to be weak. That defect, however, should not be taken into consideration, for forgiveness is a great power. Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong. Forgiveness subdues (all) in this world; what is there that forgiveness cannot achieve? What can a wicked person do unto him who carries the sabre of forgiveness in his hand? Fire falling on the grassless ground is extinguished of itself. And unforgiving individual defiles himself with many enormities. Righteousness is the one highest good; and forgiveness is the one supreme peace; knowledge is one supreme contentment; and benevolence, one sole happiness." (From the Mahabharata, Udyoga Parva Section XXXIII).
An even more authoritative statement about forgiveness is espoused by Krishna, who is considered to be an incarnation (Avatar) of Vishnu by Hindus. Krishna said in the Gita that forgiveness is one of the characteristics of one born for a divine state. It is noteworthy that he distinguishes those good traits from those he considered to be demoniac, such as pride, self-conceit and anger (Bhagavad Gita, Chapter 16, verse 3).
Village priests may open their temple ceremonies with the following beloved invocation:
“O Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations: Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here; Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms; Thou needs no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations, Lord, forgive three sins that are due to my human limitations.”
Ho'oponopono
Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness, combined with prayer. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the South Pacific, including Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand. Traditionally hoʻoponopono is practiced by healing priests or kahuna lapaʻau among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone.
Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len practiced the Ho'oponopono system by healing himself, first and foremost, and, therefore, miraculously transformed the entire ward of patients at the Hawaii State Hospital in the 1980's, mentally ill, criminally insane patients despite never seeing a single one of those patients privately. He says in his article where he describes the method he used for healing, method which includes forgiveness of oneself and others and releasing the painful memories from the subconscious mind:
“The repentance is feeling sorry for the data or memory in me that is the problem. The next step is forgiveness from the Divinity; to forgive whatever this data is that causes me to perceive a patient to be sick. The final step is called “transmutation” which only the Divinity can do. The Divinity will take whatever memories are in me, that I perceive the patient as being sick, convert it to zero; transmute it from a thought-form to pure energy; release the energy from my mind, and now I’m back at zero which means no judgment. The next step is insight. The insight moves in and the Divinity tells you what you can do next. I was not originally trained to do this. I was trained to help other people and it doesn’t work. It doesn’t work with me. As Shakespeare said, it’s the stage. The stage is in your soul and the players are your memories. You can both hear the sufferer and dwell with the memories or you get to free them up and free yourself.”
Read more about Dr. Len here
Read more about techniques of forgiveness in my next article.
I honor the Divinity within you!
With love,
Delia
